I'm what you would call a spasmodic exerciser. I run like the clappers every morning, inevitably get a killer injury and retire hurt for a good couple of months. Rinse and repeat. Part of my routine involves buying new gear to beat the excuses every morning. Once, I sauntered into Target and moseyed on over to the running skins. I bet you thought I was going to say the fringed jackets or low heeled cowboy boots with all that sauntering and moseying.
I picked up a pair that looked like the right size. Well, maybe an "aspirational" size. OK, a size smaller than I actually fit. The thing I didn't realise is these skins, they're not all that forgiving. It's not just the cankles top you have to hide. There were bulges where bulges are just not polite to be seen. My new motivational pants had all of a sudden become an offensive-to-the-eye reminder of all those months spent lazing on the couch.
At the moment I'm trying so hard. Like, cement hard. I have the best of intentions, doodling around the internet trying to find great broccoli recipes. Something to accompany a rich pulled pork - a bitey, crunchy take on steamed broccoli. I remembered seeing a broccoli slaw recipe over on Smitten Kitchen, so hightailed it over there for a peak. That was my first mistake.
The recipe started off well - two heads of broccoli. Raw - hello crunchy-crunch-face. Cider vinegar would sharpen the whole dealey up. I skimmed the rest and made my decision - broccoli coleslaw it is. I should have read closer.
Two thirds of a cup of sour cream and whole egg mayo later, my best of intentions were floating out the window on the wings of a muffin-topped angel. But I gotta tell ya, this is pretty spectacular stuff. I was a bit skeptical about the raw broc at the start, but leaving the dressing to soak in for a while took the sting out of the flavour.
My supermarket was out of buttermilk, so I settled for sour cream. I squeezed in some lemon juice to loosen up the consistency. Cranberries were swapped out for currants - because if there's an excuse to use currants in a recipe, I will grab that bull by the sweetened horns and go for broke. No almonds in the cupboard? Walnuts were superb instead.
So while this is, strictly speaking, a broccoli recipe, it's not the kind that will help you fit into your running skins. But it will give you motivation to go running in the morning. No one wants a buttermilk butt.
Adapted from smitten kitchen
2 heads of broccoli
1/3 cup currants
1/3 cup walnuts
1/4 red onion, sliced thinly
1/3 cup sour cream
1/3 cup mayonaisse
juice half lemon
2 tbsp cider vinegar
1 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp red onion, finely diced
salt and pepper
Slice the broccoli thinly either by hand or in the food processor. Toast the walnuts over low heat for around 5 minutes, tossing frequently. Throw in a large bowl with the broccoli, onion and currants.
To make the dressing, combine all the ingredients in a bowl and whisk until combined well. Throw over the broccoli and toss to coat the vegetables evenly. Leave to sit for around 10 minutes and serve with pulled pork and tortillas.